I grew up downwind from a sewage farm. I like to make this statement because it makes my childhood sound positively Dickensian, but that’s not really the case. However, we dreaded certain hot summer days. About five days a year the air would be thick with the smell of human excrement. It tended to be on a Sunday. No amount of barbecues could mask the stink. It was best to stay inside and stock up on pot pourri. House prices were suspiciously low in the area.
On these days, I would walk to the river, where the smell didn’t hang around and the breeze was fresh. Across a few fields (watch out for cow shit) and underneath a few bridges (watch out for the needles) was a secluded meander of the river that hugged (and regularly flooded) my town.
I sat on a small pebble beach and watched the geese and ducks, waiting for someone to invent the smartphone.
This pebble beach became my first smoking spot, the first step in a long and storied journey.
The Lifetime Hunt For The Perfect Smoke Spot
Getting high at home is great, but the best joints are those which are earned. You will rarely find me at a gym, but I love rambling around nature for hours for that sweet reward. I turned it into something of a hobby, disguising it as a love of hiking. I secretly abhor the countryside (smelly, boring, can’t get food delivery) and question the motives of anyone who would want to live there, but once I’m having a puff, I turn into Gaia mother of earth herself.
The best way to get a stoner up a mountain is the promise of a good smoking spot at the top. Then we will pause Netflix, lift up from our sofas and breathlessly climb up bloody Killamanjaro for a joint with a view.
Weed smokers will all know how our favourite plant can really help us take in and appreciate our surroundings. Catching that buzz from the first puff while taking in colours, sounds, smells (that aren’t sewage) and the movements of nature around us. It is a truly zen moment. I love doing nothing at all in my earned smoking spots. I view it as therapy, a way to recharge and take a break from a world obsessed with productivity.
I spent my early 20s taking advantage of my more successful friends who were living and studying in Europe. I was able to go on two holidays a year by grabbing budget flights and sleeping on a friends’ floor in various cities. I ticked off Berlin, Munich, Copenhagen, Hamburg, and Salzburg in two years. It really wasn’t a bad run. As soon as I landed, the aim wasn’t to visit the local landmarks, but to sample some of the finest smoking spots these cultural capitals and their surroundings had to offer.
Salzburg was the clear winner, with its gorgeous alpine surroundings, staring up at mountains with snow on top on a sunny day. The city is packed with raised viewing spots where hikers can find some of the best mountain views in Europe after a short and steep walk. Once you catch your breath, there is no other choice than to spark up and hum The Sound of Music to yourself (quietly – the locals are fucking sick of it).
Berlin, almost certainly the best city in the world, has countless perfect smoking spots both inside and outside the city. My favourite is the massive Treptower Park, next to the river and home to the insanely badass Soviet War Memorial, a giant statue depicting a bloke holding a sword, carrying a child and stomping on a swastika. If you don’t fancy trekking, another perfect smoking spot in Berlin was Tempelhofer field, an abandoned airport turned park smack bang in the middle of the city. If you have ever wondered what it is like to smoke and run up and down an airport runway (and who of us hasn’t?), this is your spot.
With the current crisis (the pandemic one), I have learned to appreciate my local green smoking spots – simple city parks and scrubland meadows getting eyed up by developers. But man, I can’t wait to carry on my lifetime hunt for the ideal smoking spot – to be honest, I hope I never find it, cause I don’t want the journey to end.
What makes the perfect smoking spot? While on your hunts, look out for the following:
A Nice View
Weed is a plant, so it just makes sense that getting stoned makes us want to get closer to nature. Trees, lakes, mountains, rivers, seas, swamps, it’s all good.
You definitely need a bit of entertainment from wildlife. Preferably those with a cute ‘jester’ vibe, such as squirrels or otters.
Close to a Toilet
Oh yes, it’s time to get practical. You don’t want your stoner sesh to get rudely interrupted by the cruel call of mother nature. Toilets or a nearby space with lots of big bushes where one can squat in peace are essential.
Is there anything better?
Look, you don’t want to be eating the grass. Pack up, whatever your vice. Doritos, rice cakes, M&Ms or celery sticks – stock up, you will have to walk back too so you need the energy.
Found a decent smoking spot? Try these when having a smoke in nature:
Our Moonrock range is something special. Buds dipped in honey oil and covered in high-grade kief for a long-lasting hit. One of our most popular prerolls, this watermelon joint is sweet and smooth, with 55-60% THC. Slip this in your pocket for your next walk.
This is the perfect bud for a sunset smoking session outdoors. The high is multi-leveled, at first cerebral, and then incredibly relaxing, with a significant body buzz. This bud is perfect for smoking in the evenings, just make sure you don’t fall asleep!
If you are bringing a pipe or a bong with you, make sure you are smoking Moonrock Flower Blueberry. This hybrid strain, dipped in honey oil and rolled in kief, works best in a pipe, and gives an uplifting high which will really help you vibe with your surroundings.